I'll Go.

a lot of times- every single time, I went back and forth for Love, for everything that means so much to me, but I am starting to get tired to keep on chasin' without results, I'm just exhausted to death. let time deside what's right 'cause I won't,

you want me? proof it.

you need me? call me.

you love me? show it.

But If I don't make it home and you don't come back..

I'mma ask you to not forget about me.. it was ours to keep.

Love is hard, I've fought for you, over and over again, I keep on hopin', I'm still holding on, but the truth is: everything can change in a second,

we all know that.

Love, R.

dat was lang geleden!

..dat ik weer aan het '' Bloggen '' ben..

ok ok, listen, er is intussen VEELS TE VEEL dingen gebeurt in het leven van Riri-myself

been walking up and down the hills of Love,

been fighting those demons in my head,

been feeling a LOT,

and now I'm back with a brand new boyfriend on my side and a brand new future ahead of me.

Life can be wonderful, pitiful, a bit crazy and lost track..

folks, for what I know is that you gotta live and let live as it is.

so that's what I did, I did what I had to do, I took the risk, I gather the courage and went through fire of destiny as they might call it.

I was afraid, scared, lame and stupid..

but sometimes, being stupid is the best thing you can be when you know what you're doing

is full of risks, right?!

well, let me tell you somethin': Love made me do it!

yes, you heard me, that's right!

Love, it is all about Love.

x

He

Stefano zegt:
maar baby, luister dan
i wanna make u happy

Stefano zegt:
i wanna make u cry
i wanna laugh
i wanna make u fly
high up in de sky
like stars
serieus
dat wil ik echt
ik wil zorgen dat je veilig bent
je goed voelt
en dat WIJ ons best doen
samen !

Stefano zegt:
voor elkaar, met elkaar

I say: than let's make eachother Happy, shall we?

S.

See, I've known this boy for about a week or 2-3, he's like the Prince on the White horse to me so far..

we share the same shit !

example:

-Music taste,

-Same thoughts about Life and Reality,

-Little things in Life that makes it all worth to Live for..

I really don't know what Love really means and what it really feels like,

but I know this one is going to be real, at least.. I hope so.

God Blessed.

Bullshit Waarheid.

er zijn mensen die letterlijk Haten als iemand anders eruit zie dan de rest.. als iemand heel anders gedraagt dan de rest..
zulke mensen noemen we in de maatschappij: HATERS.
of et zijn Diva's, Homo's, of Flikkers gewoon..
haha, hun durven niet in je gezicht te zeggen dat ze je haten terwijl je weet dat ze JOU voor de rest echt goed haten..
en nu wil je zo graag dat je met hun kan opschieten en normaal kunnen praten met alles en over alles.
sommigen hebben dan ineens over cookies, taarten en andere zoetigheids..
WTF, heb je niks anders te doen soms?
..suikerspin en vriendjes praten ze nog steeds over, jij ook hea? vraagt ze dan ineens..
rariteit, ego, en dan nog een hele berg status-praatjes-bullshit erbij..

ongelofelijk DOM !

triest, jah.. hahaha, als hun dat nou eens realiseren, hoe hun zijn, hoe hun eruit zien als ze over iemand praten..
LELIIIJJKKKKKKK HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORR

en nu verveel ik me..

take care folks,

Blessed.

Hannibal Rising

hahaha,

we just watched Hannibal Rising and I Think I might fall in Love with that creapy guy who plays it.
holyshiittt haha, still can't believe my own eyes and ears..

alright, That's it.

Love, Riri

a day in Hell.

where do I have to start?

today was one of those strange days..

I thought she was a good friend who knows me well by now,

but her Ego throws it all away, her Magical eyes turned into black and I don't know who she was..

everytime I try to forget this whole thing, something bad happend and the day turned Bad again

wish someone would fix me real good to make sure I'm ok and alive like in the old days

like when I used to fall in love with him, like when I used to smile a lot (deep from the heart)

all I got is Lights, follow the lights where it leads me Home and take me to somewhere I TRUELY belong.

o and Goshhh I miss you so much Father..

='(

God bless you and the rest of the Family.

Much Love, R.

feelings at NYC '09

Vandaag ben ik thuis gekomen van NYC.

het was een fascinerende ervaring. it was like: WHOAAA, letterly.

dingen meegemaakt wat anderen maar kunnen dromen, ik ben niet arrogant, zeg ik je alvast maar bijna elke dag voor the last 8 days dronken zijn is niet bepaald goed hea?

it's all in the game, someone said to me one day..

but funny enough, everyday I'm at one of the largest/shiniest/greatest city in the world,

I still feel the lonelyness inside of me, why is that?

I keep asking myself. even when I'm with someone, like a relationship..

it's like I feel the 'down-vibe' all around me, it is insane, I can't get out of it.

just can't.

who's going to catch me when I fall? myself and I?

I think so, I'm alone everyday, I'm lonely everyday, I feel useless everyday, I don't exist to most people, I'm a closure to myself..

I don't know what else to think, I tried everything I could, I get many and many feelings inside of me when I'm on my own, at home.

it's like: craaazyyyy !!

I don't have friends, all I have is me.

I keep telling myself to go and make the best of life, every-single-day there's left of my 'happyness' inside.

it rules my whole 'life'. I can't call this 'life', because I rarely feel alive, only when I'm traveling around and walking the path I have to be on to move on towards destinations.

but one thing I surely know, which is I, won't live much longer, I just know it.

it's like a prognosis, when you already know thing about to happen, as your intuition go stronger than ever.

anyways, this is NYC:

Love, R.

sex doesn't have to be dirt on dinner-table

what do this people have in common?! SEX-APPEAL.

Lara.

NYC.

the days are coming closer and closer folks!

we are, and I mean WE ARE one of the nations on earth that could and should see the world

with our own bare eyes, with our own bare hands we touch the things we are not supposed to touch or even get involved with..

but,

no worries, rules are meant to be broken =]

the only thing I know is that this year could be mine..

the good things are keep on coming on my path of life, they are calling me to live it,

live the life that I should be living..

living the dream I always dreamed of, traveling the world (on my own) or with companion(s).

but for now, I just like to travel alone, on my way to greatness and grace there is to catch,

I am..

I am, the dream.

I am..

about to walk/run on the busy streets of NEW YORK CITY.

(wich happened to be the city of blinding lights..)

regards,

R.

Long time no typing..

ok, ok,

dit is echt rampzalig hea..

al FUCKING VEEEELS TE LANG GEEEEEN FUCKING BLOGS MEER VAN MIJJ..

nou, nu dus weer wel haha,

ehmm, om nog ef te beginnen.. ik heb dus na al die tijd weer fucking veels te workaholic geworden

or somethin'..

maar goed, ook te veel gefeest tijdens het werk,

maar op 1 of andere manier is het toch wat

aan de saaie kant aan worden.. hoe kan dat dan als je je toch o, zo vermaakt elke keer

op de werkvloer dat je uberhaupt nog eens g

aat vervelen kind?!

hoor ik al van jullie point of view,

nou, this is why:

Ik verveel me kenker sjnel dus dan weten jullie ook dat ik erg sjnel uitgekeken raak..

vandaar, ben ik erg moody nu om weer een new te gaan zoeken..

but I have to cause I just get bored and more bored that I letterly wanna die if I don't move on..

eehmm.. oh ja! London was 'FAWSOME'.

dit zei ik ook tegen dat ene boyke haha, he liked my word of choice, yeah, he liked it.

anyways, this is one of the greatest photo's I took out there on Town:

ENJOY..

Pleasure Island

een FUCKING dikke hoi.

dit heb ik dus de afgelopen 2 dagen GEDAAN:

GEFEEST (op werkvloer) ZITTEN DOLLEN (op werkvloer) GEREND (op werkvloer)GEWERKT (op werkvloer) GEDANST (op werkvloer) ERG VEEL GEPRAAT (op werkvloer) GEKIETELD (op werkvloer) GEROTZOOID (op werkvloer) hahahaha, deze 2 dagen waren BRUUT

@ AWESOMENESS (EVER)

en nu, wachtend geduldig (not) voor august party

@ London city

FUCK men,

ik kan niet wachten..

en nu, maar slapen.. of of of

een FUCKING goeie blog maken/verzinnen/typen/schrijven

juist.

ok, ik praat teveel..

well, let GOD BLESS YOU in the hardest tides of THI SWHOLE GANG OF SHITTY LIFE we all are in.

BIG Love,

R.

M. (Blog)

you had me

you lost me

you let me walk away and go

you called me

you told me

you need me back to let me know

if I will cry you will be there

I won't call your name, I know you it will be all the same

it's alright, ok

I won't bother you no more

ain't no need to talk

alright, ok

so you want for me to be sure?

then let me tell you this

you never will, I'd never look down, I never did

alright, ok

all I gotta say there's no need for you to visit

I'm with him

I'm with them

there's plenty room for me to join

I'm still right here

endwise and near my happyness within

a good soul I still own, don't worry

don't you dare wasting your crap on me

don't make me call security

don't have to go but you just can't stay

Dedicated to M.

Evil Heart (Blog)

run over the saints outside

this is what he wanted to

or run over good human kind

he can't help himself to plan all the things a devil would

there's a thing to do, one thing I can do

my time to make a move

wake him up, the obvious

make it stop, the outrageous

shake him up for the better

this is for the outlaw

wreck him up, the un cut loose

make it stop, the blood injured

drag him up when it's over

cause reasons are not suppose to be removed

he's scared to say what's inside

what he need to be doing

he's scared to admit what's right

I can't lock a full grown man

but he keeps on fighting them

I know he will die for losing all in time

why would he run away from his own biggest fear?

and why would he disturb their lives on every year?

I guess the anger made him fierce

he couldn't discharge or retard

the wrong gear, the wrong cheer

about M.

Something to remember (Blog)

simplicity written deep in my eyes

priority is my truth and my deny

ackward and weird, not one small noice I hear

sun shine, dawn and sunrise

I see things clear

would you be a relieve?

when you can do something for me

mother nature has a mistery

let me go, let me walk forever and keep me in your mind

say goodbye with a kiss to remember

it's time that heals you from me

all we had was never meant to be

it's alright, may you find the truth of life

so, last night we cried

it's time for me to die

I'm not the one who'll be there by your side

I will leave letting it all be

my ride is here waiting for me, maybe you better off

our pages are history

just take it, this is it

life ain't fair and it never will be

you were mine but never destiny

..

I got an Opinion (Blog)

I don't care what I might see

I don't know you

I don't care what I'd find out

I'm free from all disguise I got

I can see now, I can go now

I'm free from the rest I'm planning doing tonight

don't think I would fall cause of you

don't think I shall beg you to move

cause I know you just can not stay away

take this, take it right

do your job and make them all happy in despair to come around

cause all my mistaken movements don't ask

I don't want your opinion

I don't give a damn for what you people do

I don't want to

I don't feel reward for what I gave

and no, I don't stay around for what you all need to

I don't like you, I fucking do everything I want

as some say you'll never be the one

they want you dead inside and hung

yourself is what you got though they're involved

Life's funny from my point of view

a guy said one day ..

'Life is a Joke and it Laughs on you, funny right?!'

Solitude (Blog)

sometimes I lay around

can't sleep, I hang around

every thought is willing to come out

my life, it is way too hard

I took it far in pendency

I survived when I was giving up

when I crashed in the forrest

all I wanted was a guide

when I woke up unconscious

all I wanted was love

so who will be there the next time?

and what if I need something real?

I drugged my blood fast to refuse

the haunting I kill

where is the kindness in truth?

and dying I was from my own

solitude was a friend I had

it was myself

sometimes I stop and gaze into the mass, think of anything

so would they notice me if I'm gone?

this life made me realized

I've been lonely many times

yet I'm on the move, continue running

when they want me to show off

all I wanted was to hide

they expect me to be rough

all I did was cry

I began and I'm ending it easily

cause I am someone on a value high

so this is the part what you've never seen

where the weakness, gravity is killing me

gets me wherever I am

beats me whenever I breath as time is running out

so what would you do if you were me?

Dedicated to W.

I love you sis.

You are (Blog)

drum and base are on the back

when you run your finger

yeah, this is what you do

an acoustic guitar in your hand

play that song you wrote when I'm asleep

my own superstar with me

early morning you would rock the neighbourhood

you're the only one who would go singin' lalala

I love to see you go run without your underwear

you always make me laugh so hard

I just like for the way you are

casual mess when I'm with you

crazy occasions when you start acting goof

gosh, how you do it

then you'll be going tough, having fluff

baby, having itch, such a bitch

and messy hair

Do things 'till I can't get enough

Leo drum sticks you throw with

but he don't mind, sugar

yes, this is what you always do

the kitchen is your stage and I'll be your own fan

I love your performances

tonight we'll go out and we'll be having fun

he loves it when I'm around, together really nice

I'll be by your side and make your heart smile

going home and we start all over again

you and me in that room we spent baby

haha, we were such a mess..

Our Song (Blog)

it's just you and me

we're the last one around

what if tomorrow sun won't shine?

would your love go on?

where the roads turn-a-bend

where the world lies to end

are you willing to try or would you rather die?

for what it is worth as far as it brought us here

and the battlefield left holes in the ground to keep

the seasons has changed, freedom will last

in it's way above enemies

will you keep me company?

when there is nothing left to live

and could you still give me any faith to proof

there's no me without you

no me without you

he knows what I think

he can feel what I feel

and you see anything

a light in the dark

who I follow through

in every step my feet goes

I can count on him when times are getting harder

made this thing the best, leaving the rest

better to live for just in case our journey come to an end

he always keeps me warm and close

and you never said a word

I just look into the eyes of faith and truth

you gave me truth

you carry me with you, the stronger we became

the commitment

I watch your every move, the more we're the same

my guardian

in every devotion, the dedication

my best friend, my shield

you're my warrior

when life is about to last

and we're finished where it all started, it's all gone

we love and we rest, we're on the egde

standing side to side as we face the beauty of our fate

still you would cross the seven seas

you're the last thing I knew

the very, very last thing I knew

Dedicated to M.

Liberty (Blog)

life makes you kill every move

life makes you willing to fight

I am, I'm like your left hand

I am your plan to ease all

one more game to do, one more man to fool

get rid of the blues

standing up, you're the hero

kicking off, be the fellow

making up, keep it down, low

dismissed kisses, they would beg you

breaking up, it ain't hollow

laugh it off, heal the sorrow

lift it up, they would follow

death comes when I'm not around

death face you when you are scared

I can, let you be someone

for you to move on

and I, I will put any word in your mouth to talk

but I'm just a voice you called for two

I hope you'll be fine finding the life you been looking for..